Choose: What Do You Value?
PART IV CHOOSE
CHAPTER 12 Values – The Unwritten Rules
As we begin Section 4, I invite you to set an intention to be kind to yourself! You’re engaging in a kind of emotional audit – take a moment to congratulate yourself on the growth you’ve already experienced. You’re doing great! As you continue to implement change in yourself and your life, I encourage you to do so in ways that cultivate compassion. Compassion is not meant exclusively for others; learn to give it freely and generously to yourself.
In previous posts we’ve explored feeling and thinking. Now it’s time to get up close and personal with…. choosing. Each and every day we evaluate countless options, mindlessly selecting a course of action (or inaction!). The impact of these decisions varies from insignificant to life-changing. They’re made with full, some, little, or no, conscious awareness on our part. Wouldn’t it make more sense to match your fullest awareness to your most significant decisions? How much do you really know about your decision-making? That’s where we’ll be picking up in this post.
Well, for starters, you’ll probably want a framework that’s consistent and reliable. And of course, there’ll be a few “must-haves.” Your system should be able to accommodate schema-informed thinking – that’s the only kind of thinking we do! Must-have.: As we’ve covered previously, flexible thinking helps us avoid stuck points. Adaptable system? Must have: And let’s not forget: thinking traps. Can your system alert you if you’re headed for one? This is all beginning to sound a little complex. Do not despair! It just so happens, you are already the owner/operator of just such a system! It may need a tune-up here, or a tweak there, but you don’t have to start from the ground up. Yep, I’m talking about your value system!
To get started, some general fact-finding about your current value system will be useful. Do you have a clear understanding of it? When was the last time you reevaluated it? If you have done so recently – congratulations! On the other hand, maybe you can’t remember the last time you gave much thought to your values, or maybe you never have. No time like the present!
Consider this: every decision we make is, to some degree, informed by our values. We are constantly referring to them for guidance. If your “schema” is your unique understanding of the way the world is, your values reflect the way you believe the world should be.